letter to heaven~

(Perhaps tis entry mengandungi tahap kepanjangan yg melampau.. huuu.. coz I’m in da mood of menulis ryte now)

To : En. Azman bin Burhanudin,

Cc :

Subject: A letter for ayah angah..

I’ve been thinking today about what I wanted to tell you. It has been genap 5 month since you died.

Kinda a lot has changed dad.

Hmmm, you always grab our attention on local news, often political issues. Eventhough my interest in politics is next to zero dad, but I pretend to put an interest in your political statements.. huuuuu.. well dad, for your information, our all brand new prime minister is Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak..but I jus dunno about the political atmosphere coz I’m not into it dad.. heee.. I’m sorry dat I failed to tell u more :(

Let’s see, what else is new? Owh dad.. volleyball has become such a big part of your life ryte? You are the most superb volleyball player that I ever met! Wa.wa.waaa… *applause* n now, your only son, Khairul Izwan Azman do carries ur gene in volleyball.. huuu.. he had become one of the representative for Batang Padang district, n he won silver for his very first match a month ago.. n PLUS,, to be proud,, your only wife, Mdm Jamaliah Abdul Manan do get involve in this volleyball thingy too! Huhuuhu… your wife is now the team manager & coach for her volleyball club! *applause* see dad,, we are in the same boat isn’t it? Hehehe :p

Hmm.. 1 more thing dad.. we are very sorry to tell you this.. your arowana fish (named Goldberg) had died. We know,, for 8 years you do love Goldberg much! N we do love him too dad.. we are sorry dad! But now,, we do petting rabbits! Huuu.. Khairul do tell us, you once had told him that you gonna buy him a rabbit ryte? So,, we do bought rabbits- all together : 5 bunnies: named HemaHemo, HumaHame, Chibey2, Jibet, n kelabubu.. heeee :)

*thinking* oh yeah dad,, mom had become a superb-duperb-great driver! Huuu.. she frequently drove your CRV all along from Tapah to Bangi.. *thumbs up* hehehee.. hmm,, before this,, u’re the only person among 6 of us who knows how to get here and there withot the sesat2 scene ryte? .. heee…and as usual, u’ll oweys say this- ‘Rombau pon den tak sosat!’ :) I missssss all the journeys dat we’ve been go thru together dad! N now,, mom do send and fetch your youngest-manjest daughter, Nurul Azreen Azman to sekolah agama, sekolah kebangsaan n tuisyen,, replacing your task as ‘Pak Wancar a.k.a Pak Driver’.. p/s : dad, your youngest daughter do have boyfriend sudah! Hahahaha ;p

Psssssssttt.. dad, you know,, some of your friends and even our relatives adore your cool Virago bikes.. they do offer mom to buy your baby itu.. but dad, WE will neva eva goin to let anyone buy your baby itu.. coz we do love your baby pretty much like you do.. :)

Ahaaa.. this is the most exciting part of this letter.. with God’s will and your bless, your oldest daughter, Nurul Izwana Azman planning for her engagement with abg Ash.. huuu.. mom wuz the most excited person.. and ofkosh,, me too! Huuu.. you noe dad,, Khairul do mention tis azimat word- ‘along ngan angah kena buat baik dgn abg, kalau tak abg tak nak jadi wali’.. hahahaha.. he’s only 15yrs old but see dad,, your only son have grown lahhh.. hahahaa~

Not to forget dad,, your very da talkative-sensitive-hyperactive daughter, Nurul Azmila Azman have learn a lot after her dad death.. It is a frightening feeling knowing that now whatever life throws at me, I must handle completely on my own.. huuu.. dad,, I’v done lotsa things dat I dun even noe before.. coz u’ve always told me to be independent ryte,, not to rely on others.. huuu :) dad,, I’ve been washing and polishing my car by my own,, cheking da minyak hitam,, send da car for services-(gotta know bout da air filter, oil filter, tyre alignment, break pad, gearbox oil, mileage etc etc), change the tyre tube,, go to jpj for da road tax,, paying my summons.. huuu.. I’m sure u’r proud of your ‘angah yg lembik’ yaa dad? Hehehhe :p

You know dad,, I am really proud to be Azman Burhanudin’s daughter.. Relatives, office staff, neighbours and your friends always appreciate you and told us repeatedly about your kindness. :) they always organize tahlil for you dad.. Alhamdulillah.. thanks Allah :) n you know dad,, insyaAllah, we’ll post ya a present of Yassin and Al-fatihah to your place wherever u are~ everyday.. every single day dad.. insyaAllah..

Dad, I am afraid to look at myself sometimes, because I can see the pain in my eyes and the sadness in my soul, an empty void that only I can see. I fight the memories of u but dad, the only thing that is keepin me going is… THE LIFE I HAVE FROM YOU GROWING IN SIDE ME.

I love you.

Till pen meets paper again…

Your daughter,

Nurul Azmila Azman.